Final Reflection

Aaah, the relief is huge. I have finished and posted my digital project, and I am pleased with the product I have managed to produce. By having to essentially create this project twice, I am much more comfortable with the creation of a wiki than I would have been if I had only done it once. When I look back at my experiences in this course, I am amazed by the distance I have traveled in this short time, the obstacles I have overcome and my personal increased comfort in the 21st century. There are certain aspects of that experience that I have absorbed into my repetoire, some I found interesting and wish to explore in further depth when I have more time and others which I know are not ones I would choose to pursue further. Some of my previous posts have referred to concerns regarding the visibility of this digital footprint I have created and that continues to be a worry of mine, but not one that will paralyze me, just one that will make me cautious in what I sign up for/post. Even on facebook, I never post on a wall, always connecting on a 1:1 basis. I am realizing that is a piece of my personality that is not quite compatible with many of these tools. I am a one to one type of person. I don't like talking or presenting to large groups. Thus, many of these tools have been intimidating to me, as my communication is with larger groups of people. In my profession, I typically work with 3 students maximum at a time or meet with 10 people at most. There are factors which have been huge problems to me throughout this journey: the reliability of my personal technology and technology in general, and the huge amount of time each task involves. I have also realized that my lack of organizational skills is something that can challenge my entry into the 21st century, but once there and embraced, can be greatly enhanced by the resources available. At the beginning of this course, I randomly signed up for different apps and would then forget if I had already joined, what my user name was and what my password was. I now have a notebook with all of that information so I no longer need to recreate the wheel each time I attempt to login. A simple solution, but one that didn't come naturally to me. There are many other simple solutions out there in the land of web 2.0 that will help me overcome this deficit area. Diigo is currently leading the way!

Regarding blogging, what I have discovered is that I enjoyed the process as a personal method of journaling. In my adult life, the only writing I typically do is writing evaluations (and of course IEPs) for my students. I have not journaled since 1979, a full 30 years! I am surprised to discover that I enjoy the outlet of expressing myself in this manner, even though I have no desire for others to read it. There is an inner writer in me who has been in hibernation for 30 years. This leg of the journey has reminded me that this is a process that I enjoy. I realize my lack of refinement (and decreased willingness to refine) as well as my shyness makes the direction my writing would take, if I choose to pursue it, one without any current path. It is worth further exploration.

I used skype for personal communication during this course. This is a very exciting tool, although I found its reliability, or lack thereof, to be hugely frustrating. I am no longer using this tool as my son is back living on this side of the pond and because, according the man at the lenovo tech help line, it caused the second severe illness of my computer. I realize this may not be true, but after all of the frustrations I experienced, I am not willing to take the risk of him being correct. Another frustration as you can tell was the lack of one help location for your technological problems...the internet carrier points to the computer company and visa versa. I envy those people whose personal computers are also their work computers, thus bringing support for the blips along the way. College students, when technological issue arise, have support available in one location, no matter what the cause. I need to explore if there is a way to gain that support in the grown-up world as well. In the meantime, my use of skype personally is on hold until the next time I need it to communicate with my family. I intend for my resources and skills to be more evolved at that time and will be ready to wholeheartedly embrace it once again. I could envision utilizing it professionally should an appropriate situation arise, knowing I did have technological support available to me within that environment.

I tried twitter and did not feel it was useful for me.

I am about to be the one who introduces google docs to my peers at The Children's Center. We are involved in a study group and were trying to figure out how to share our comments on articles in real time as well as creating documents together. Who ever thought I could become the one from that group of twenty who would lead the way on that endeavor!

I made a wiki, lost a wiki and made a wiki!! This may have been one of my most frustrating experiences of the course (other than computer deaths), but also the one that has made me feel the most accomplished in the end. There were many tasks within the making of that wiki that were great feats for me. I capture pictures with jing, understand uploading and downloading and have even posted a video! I am now motivated to purchase a camera and let those skills enter this century with me. If one were to look at my personal photos, they would think my children were still 5 and 10 rather than 16 and 21. Once I purchase a camera, I might even post my photo on the appropriate sites.

I have made wordles for my project as well as another course I was taking simultaneously. I have taught many people about wordles.

I have created many half projects that I aborted along the way. After I mistakenly threw away my wiki, I vowed I would never return to that location and began to create a glog. My poster alluded to the online conference I had watched, The Wizard of Apps. I was testing the c of creativity, and had named it the Wicked Witch of the Novice. I had some witches on broomsticks flying across the screen, messages saying "Surrender Shelley" written in the clouds and had a partially written song to the tune of "Somewhere over the Rainbow" that I was going to have my daughter perform. That's when I found out that I didn't have the mechanical or people tools I would need to complete that project (we are a videocam-free household and my singer has the hectic life of a theatrical teenager). If I were to try singing the song, I would clearly fail the course! Project aborted and back to the wiki. I found the glog to be fun although frustrating regarding learning how to create it. I was succeeding and could see myself using this app in the future. I returned to my wiki, feeling that I was better off embracing the devil I knew and was learning from, than to start anew with a new tool.

I explored Prezi and found the non-linear format disorienting. I actually felt motion sick. If I had to give that type of presentation, I would consider exploring it further since the outcome is more inviting than a power point.

I love diigo! It has been especially useful to me with my unhealthy computers, as my resources were now on the web, no longer disappearing from favorites when my computer died. I could also be at another person's computer and easily access information. It has been a huge time saver!

I have signed up for google reader and rss feeds but have not been using this, probably due to lack of time.

I have joined nings and posted but have not had responses. I have pondered whether PT nings are not as much of professional sharing networks and more of a job posting network.

I love jing! I realize I have plenty to learn in using this more effectively, but am excited when I have a tool that continues to work for me over time. I wonder if I am subliminally positive about it because of its icon on my computer, a warm sun overhead!

Animoto is a tool that I will probably use in the future, after I purchase a camera. Just as my wiki project posted activities to incorporate into pre-school classroom activities that correlate to themes, I would create a similar project here. I would have photos of a child doing the PT activities.

I have learned that none of these tools come easily and they all have a learning curve. My biggest lesson has been that when you persevere and explore your resources patiently, the help is out there. There are online resources for all of these tools. I have also been amazed by the generosity of my peers. I find it reassuring to know that we are all on this journey together. Taking baby steps is better than taking no steps at all. Someday I will look back at my first wiki and blog, smile smugly and think how cute and naive I was a 21st century toddler.

On the road again

I went to my study group yesterday....mostly to cry. But, thank you Susanne and Karen, you've encouraged me to start over. I will just do the best I can to create something between now and Saturday when all projects are due and hope for the best. Just as in life and mental health, I will try to control the things I am capable of controlling and accept the things that are beyond my control. This translates to accepting that I started this process at a novice level and have grown by leaps and bounds, just not to the level of my peers. I have been challenged not only by my learning style but 3 broken computers and now worst of all, by my having deleted my project. Of course, as I try to recreate my wiki, I am having to learn the steps all over again, as if I had never created it the first time. Perhaps if I succeed, the redundancy will increase the potential for my retaining my learning. I am proud of myself, that after wikispaces has told me that they could not retrieve my info, that I have not thrown my computer out the window, that I am back to trying to create pages, links and pictures. Whether I succeed or not in the long run, I have had personal success as I haven't thrown in the towel and am going to grin and bear it, producing a product for my professional use. My comfort with technology has increased exponentially and I know that with time and effort (and luck for my equipment staying healthy), I can create things that I previously thought were beyond my realm.

waiting

Today is the day that I have dedicated to working on everything related to my projects....I have cleared the full day from 6 AM to 10PM, minus some meals. But I sit here captive. I have sent an email to Wikispaces, one to Dennis and a call out to my chatzy friends without any results. I have hunted on the internet, watched numerous wiki videos and have not come up with a solution to my problems. I am now 4 hours into working on this problem with absolutely nothing to show for it. I don't have the materials here to start over as the pages were created from a resource that I have at work and cannot get there today as I don't have a car. Maybe next time I take the dog out, I will look up to the sky to see if the clouds say "Surrender Shelley". The wicked witch of the novice may be the winner here, not the wizard of apps!

The camel's back is broken!

I don't know where to begin, but I fear this is the end of my journey. I have been making extremely slow progress with my wiki, feeling that I will be ready with my personal best version of a digital project, not near the level of my peers but a major feat for me. All tasks have been exceedingly slow....it took me all weekend to finally figure out how to do one task to neaten it up. I persevered and conquered, or so I thought. There is a reason I have always been a slob...neatness is dangerous. While deleting my redundant materials, I managed to delete it all and cannot figure out if I can get it back. I am afraid to touch it, can't see through my tears and am starting to somaticize the stress. Is this worth it? I have climbed so far and learned so much, but then, is it possible that with the simple wrong hit of a key, I am back at square one? With all of the history settings on the wiki, I have to believe there is a way to retrieve it. I have researched desperately, reached out to my Chatzy peers and am at my wit's end. I still had more to go, but knew my direction. I really don't think I have the intestinal fortitude to start again. I need to walk away for a few minutes, try to breathe and see things clearly. I truly don't know what to do from here!!

Why is this so hard for me? Am I losing it?

Why is this so challenging for me? Is my advancing age the reason? We speak of all of these digital skills being a second language, but languages used to be my skill set. I loved the challenge of learning and playing with new languages. Any opportunity to practice was a thrill. No longer. While I continue to work on learning this new language, the terminology does not seem to be being absorbed and I am intimidated in practicing this new language due to my feelings of incompetency. I am discovering that I need to perform multiple repetitions of a task before I have absorbed it, but even then, seem to need to relearn it when I try it again on a subsequent date. I know that if I were more comfortable with this foreign language, I would feel more competent during my journey, less intimidated and more excited by the challenges of making my communications effective. I have tried to immerse myself into this foreign culture and am certainly more competent than when I first entered, but I still struggle every step of the way. If I keep plodding along, can I gain citizenship, or will I always be an alien?

A tag by any other name....

Uh oh. As I continue to read and explore, I have noticed that I have been using a different tag than everyone else....omited the s09 at the end. Does that mean that my digital footprint is altered? Is there no classroom trace of all my postings and digital exploration? Feeling sad.

Perhaps I really don't belong here...

I have been working diligently on my course work with minimal successes. While I was awaiting some online help, I decided to explore some of the sites I have joined. It was my PT ning. I have never had any responses to my post there and therefore decided to explore the ning further to see if I was using it incorrectly. What I find is that PT's in general do not seem to be in the 21st century. When I explored, I found at least 50 job opportunities but very little in the realm of professional sharing and absolutely nothing regarding Pediatric PT. I am jealous of all the educators who are involved in this course an can at least feel as if all of the readings and work apply to their professional work. I feel as if my professional work by nature remains in the 20th century. There are certainly some low tech technology that can be utilized in my practice, for example the wii or, if I had the equipment, some computerized exercise equipment (not something I could imagine ever happening). I am disappointed in the sites I have found thus far for PT professional sharing but will continue to search. My current searches have left me pondering if, by natue, PT is meant to stay in the 20th century. Hands on skills and palpation are integral to practice and are difficult to convey in a digital manner. Perhaps I am ahead of my peers by trying to embrace this digital sharing. After reading this weeks reading on citing resources, copyrighting, etc. and some of the implicit rights of educators for using materials, I wonder if it is the opposite for a PT. When I have a challenging situation with a student and am looking for my professional community to support me, I encounter other issues of privacy and hippa rights. If I were seeing a child with a low frequency issue/diagnosis and were to seek advice from my online professional community, I would be fearful of the transparency of my request and that it may be viewed, despite having a lack of specific identifying information, as a breech of confidentiality. I can think back to students I have had with rare diagnoses, such as progeria, werdnig-hoffman disease, Ehler-Danlos syndrome or a specific form of brain tumor. Could my digital footprint be too public for me to effectively utilize my peers in this way? Currently, when faced with this type of challenge, I use Bell's technology and phone my peers to create my professional advice network. It is hard to imagine feeling comfortable regarding being invisible and private and gathering more peers to do this in a digital format. Having hunted today, I am wondering if my medical peers feel the same way.